10. Women's Place in Everyday Talk: Reflections on Parent - Child Interaction

I don't think I fully understood this article. Nothing in it made sense to me. I went to the discussion board on BB to see what I was missing and I still couldn't figure it out. What I am trying to understand is that men treat women as women treat children in conversation? If this is the case then it seems to relate to the previous article in Coates about compliments and how women appreciate compliments because "they serve as encouragement to continue with the approved behaviour." (107) In that regard it appears that even in conversation, women are subjugated to being the weakest link in any verbal encounter with men and children. Whereas men have control over the conversation through interruption, children do this when they seek attention, most likely from the female parent, by continued interruption until they have been acknowledged. In essence, it seems to me that women have the short end of the stick in most conversational arenas. We have to work that much harder in being heard and taken seriously.

9. Complimenting - A Positive Politeness Strategy

Most intriguing about this article was the idea that "compliments addressed to women have the same function as praise given to children," (107) because this insinuates that a woman's self-esteem is based on the approval of all others. This couldn't be more farther from the truth in my life. What I have found in female to female complimentary situations is more of a feeling of mistrust. If a woman I have just me offers me a compliment on a trivial item such as clothing, then my first inclination is to believe that she is trying to manipulate my feelings toward her. To me, it seems like a form of flattery meant to put the speaker in a one-up position, not an honest portrayal of how the speaker feels about my attire. Although the article has much supportive data, this does not hold true in my experience.

19. Language, Gender, and Garden State

Oh, Garden State. This is one of my favorite movies. I do not purchase many DVD's, but this movie is a treasure in my small collection.

What I like most about this scene is that Sam (Natalie Portman) initiates the conversation with Andrew (Zach Braff) and it doesn't seem to deter her that he gives minimal responses. Part of it may be her outgoing personality, that she may not realize that he is not interested in starting a conversation, but I think that his character is more concerned about why he is in the office. She keeps trying even though he doesn't seem to be interested. But, her willingness pays off when he listens to her headphones and they share a prolonged eye contact that can only be labeled as flirting. When he thinks there may be a mutual interest, the conversation progresses. Male/female communication drives me crazy.

8. Interaction: The Work Women Do

"Talk seems less problematic for men, who exert control over when and how it will occur."

I couldn't agree with this more. My roommate, John, who I mentioned in my previous post, is a prime example of men who control conversations. Whenever John has a story he wants to tell, he expects mine and Tina's complete attention. If Tina and I deviate from the topic and make a joke about something he said or interrupt his flow, he gets hurt and, like a child, stops talking and refuses to continue. We have to beg him to finish and apologize for interrupting. Sometimes he keeps telling his story and other times he will walk away, punishing us for not giving him our undivided attention.

However, when I begin to tell him a story he acts uninterested and never makes eye contact with me. His attention is focused on the TV or the computer. At times, he will interrupt me to ask Tina something or even ask me a question not relating to the topic. I know he sounds like an a**hole, but some speakers are not good listeners and vice versa.

7. Performing Gender Identity: Young Men's Talk and the Construction of Heterosexual Masculinity

I was sitting at the dinner table with my roommates, Tina and John, when Tina and I began discussing a woman we both know. Our conversation centered around how she had told her husband that she was pregnant, but how we knew that he was not the father. Tina and I began to analyze the ramifications of her decision to lie to her husband about the paternity of their child, and questioned her integrity as a wife and a friend. John looked at us, rolled his eyes, and asked why we cared so much.

The next night, John's friend Ray came over for dinner. As we all sat at the same dinner table, John asked Ray if he had talked to Brian, another friend of theirs. Ray said that he had and that Brian and his wife were getting divorced and how the wife was already seeing someone else. John was quick to judge her by calling her a whore and called his friend a pussy for letting that happen. Just as Tina and I had passed judgment on our friend about her decisions, John was just as eager to do the same thing.

What I find most interesting about this situation and the conversation recorded in this weeks chapter, is that men don't think that they are susceptible to "gossip." They don't think that their analysis of situations, their deconstruction of human behavior is like that of women. In reality, I have met many men who are just as eager to divulge information as some women. Men can think they are different than women in that regard, but I know better, I've heard it with my own ears.